People have different outlets, for some people they just brush everything off, others paint pictures or play games to release their stress. None of this ever seemed to work for me, so I have come to the conclusion that my most productive outlet is simply writing. Words, flowing out of my mind and onto the page creating a tangible link to my thoughts
Powerful things, words, the right combination in the right ear, at the right time can do anything, the possibilities are endless. I have raised people from depression to happiness, whilst also lowering people to cry. I've drawn people in, and forced people out, both stopped and started fights, all with the words that came out of me. The many words said on here have both helped people to understand me, and caused conflict where there should have been none.
Your whole life, you go through events, good and bad. And these events, they shape you to be the person you are today. Every interaction with people builds bonds which tug at you and shape you. Who knows what the world would be like without you in it, chances are, if you hadn't gone through that shit, someone else would have instead, and you have saved them from that fate by accepting it onto yourself.
Today I finally felt like everything made sense. Like every event that had happened for my whole life has lead me to here, and I'm using them all to be ready to face whatever is next. I'm finally understanding what all the songs were about and how to move my life forward and stop dwelling in the past.. Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all.. Nothing's like before.
I feel ready to step forward and face the future and all it holds, I won't let myself be help back by all the shit in my past, and instead, draw from the experiences to fuel what I need in my future. I'm ready to walk forwards once again.
I'm still crazy. I still have the occasional panic attacks and retreat. But I've accepted myself for who and what I am. And so, with that in mind, I have made the decision to halt my words, and close my blog. I honestly feel like I don't need it any more. My days of unleashing my words are over. I'll leave the posts up, but I'm hoping that this will be my final post here.
Thank you to all the readers of my 30 posts. Thank you for trying to understand me. Thank you for taking the time and interest in my life. For those of you that have followed me for a while, don't be sad that this is over, but be happy that I finally feel sure enough in myself to hold my words where they should be. I'll see you all around.
Kexys
