Deception

I considered writing this on my private blog, but then, what is the point. I'm not going to hide any more. I will however be censoring everything I write, as it is only fair to myself and others.

Its a mixed bag today, and with reflection, I can see I fell prey to basic human selfishness. I try to do my best to step away from the standard selfish person's shadow, and into my own code of conduct. However, today, the words that were said in my head had to be censored. I found out that a friend had some bad news, now, this news could work in my favour, and instead of feeling sorry for them, I felt happy for myself. This made me feel terrible inside. I do however understand that this is basic human programming.

I think I'll leave the big details out of here, if anyone is truly interested, then just ask me. But like I said, today was a mixed bag. I was more content than I had been in a while. Singing and dancing with Jade was awesome, even with the mockery of the catalogues :P. And I was able to give her a real hug and not feel bad about it :). Something felt off, however, and while I understand that that probably isn't me, paranoia sets in.

My sleeping is still kinda bad, I'm sleeping through alarms and stuff. I miss having the friendly ghost around to wake me up in the mornings. I had hoped the ghost would follow me to my new house, but she seems to be tied to the old place, I just hope she's been able to put up with the old asshole for so long, it would be a shame to never see her again.

I'ma try and pop into the Warren again before club tomorrow, I know I'm a fool, but at least I am a consistent fool! I've not been to club since Saturday :o. I miss it lol. I think I'll do a quick update after this one regarding the games I'm currently in, and the characters I play in each :D

UCAS is done! I can't believe it, literally everything has been sorted out. I didn't expect it to be so easy. I guess the hard part starts now.

Anyhow folks, I guess that's all for this post. I'll keep y'all informed!

Kex