Insomnia

Its been a whole week now, I just can't sleep properly. Tiredness sets in early, yet sleep just will not take me. When I do manage to sleep, I am plagued by epic dreams. Each one different, yet completely memorable, so deep and vivid, I don't remember ever having such strong dreams, or at least remembering them for so long in succession. Maybe it is a sign of change.

I finally realised today where I have been going wrong for the last 2 years, and where I've gone right the last 2 months. I was trying to "re-find" myself, looking to the me of the past, when I should have been forging my own future. I have let loose recently, become the person I wasn't, and I can't help but feel good about myself, learning things in moderation is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I can only assume its going to be a beneficial lesson to learn.

Starting immediately, I'm going to add more structure to my life. Hopefully, not completely regimented, but with enough stability for me to establish various routines and good habits again, like daily walks and remembering to do my stretches and jump practise.

I have all but applied for University now. Student finance, and most of the form is filled in, I literally just need a few lost details, and a quick personal statement polish, and it'll be ready to send. It is a little daunting, but I've never been more ready for it. The thought of finally pressing on with my life is one that energises me to new levels.

The next few weeks are gonna be tight, financially, as I make every effort to get all my bills paid off. I've made contingency plans, however. Setting a food budget of £6 for a fortnight was tough, but I can make it last. By the time my birthday comes around, everything should be up to date and paid off, meaning cheaper fortnightly payments and proper meals again.

Anyhow, its 4am, and I can feel a bout of tiredness coming on, maybe I'll sleep this time. G'night.

Kex

Oh yeah, one last thing for you manly men. I challenge you to watch this and not smile :P