I need to get all this negative energy off myself before midnight. Not having anything disrupt the winter-een-mas vibe this year.
I've felt so lonely recently. Which I know is stupid because I'm surrounded by so many people. It feels almost like I exist independently of them sometimes, whilst at others, I feel smothered by them. The worst part about it is that I know it's all in my head, but that doesn't make things any easier to deal with feeling numb and having anxiety attacks in lessons. People don't understand, and even inadvertently make fun, adding to the stress. I suppose it's my own fault for trying to hide them, but guys, if you see me freaking out, don't torment me about it. Give me a hug damnit :(
Moving onwards, I don't want to dwell any more on that last thought, I've dragged that around for too long. As soon as tomorrow hits, I want a line drawn under this issue.
An hour until Wintereenmas hits. This is the first year I've not had it off work/uni since I was 18. Which is a shame, but I'll just have to go without sleep for the gaming festivities, and what a Wintereenmas it will be, I hope. With any luck, my league application will be approved, meaning I'll be able to TO again, and when I TO again, I can open a shop again! On top of that, I'll be getting back into several games I've not played in years, mostly away from the computer. It is a great deal of work, I'm not going to lie, but doing it will be a lot of fun, and should hopefully generate a little bit of extra income.
And of course Hair. I know it's not part of Wintereenmas, but it's still really enjoyable. Again, it's throwing work at us by the bucketload, but it's nothing we can't handle, and when we do the shows mid-march, we're going to rock the house! :D
Anyway, only a short one today guys. Peace and love. And smile :)
Kex
Thursday, 24 January 2013
Thursday, 3 January 2013
Review/Resolute
Lets be honest, most people make their resolutions at the new year with little to no intent on following them up. 2012 has been a long, strange trip fr me, and looking back at who I was, and what my aims were at the start of the year, I can barely believe where I have ended up.
For those of you who only met me this year, these words will still not be enough to show you the change I have undergone. I was broken and lost, unsure of my future, and I almost didn't care. I was waiting on my counselling to try and build myself back up, but I never ended up going. What pulled me back from the brink were the friends I made, and ultimately, singing.
As my confidence was building, I found my way to the FDMT carribiean night. Realizing that I actually knew a lot of people there (mainly ex-cheerleaders and NAPA students), I asked about the course, finally deciding that I wanted to go for it. I did my whole application that night, whilst drunk. And though there was a fair wait, I finally got my audition, and was accepted, which gave my confidence a much needed boost.
For the rest of the summer, my thoughts were on knuckling down and making myself well enough to go to Uni. During this time, someone hurt me, and I in turn hurt someone else. That's my largest regret of the year. I could say I'm sorry, but they are simply spoken words. Even so, I am indeed sorry for my actions.
By the summer, I had recovered enough of myself to go back to cheer again. I honestly have no greater love for anything than that that I have for my sport, and going back was just the best feeling in the world, even if, within a week, my nose suffered a nice clean break. I expected a broken bone to hurt more, really. Since then, we've gone away on 2 weekends, with our victory at IDTA being one of my highlights of this year.
With my vocal lessons at the Warren came the voice project, I hinted a lot at a Glee group, and this was a close second for me. I've always loved group and duet singing probably more than I do solo. Because of the Voice, I made new friends. The best part about being at the Warren is the fact that noone will judge you. I could be nothing but myself there, and still be accepted by all my friends.
Quicker than expected, September rolled around, and my life at Uni began. This was my testament to all the progress I had made, and all the people who have helped me make it. I had expected a lot of hard work, but I never expected to learn as much as I did in such a short time. I went in still unsure about myself, but the people around me helped me keep myself together.
Everyone in my class is amazing. No, literally every single person. There have been ups and downs between us all, but ultimately, I love every one of them. We came together as a class and put on our Revue show, which was a huge success, coming down to the fact of the talent of everyone involved, and the help of everyone involved in the production who dragged us along and pulled this show out of us.
I look back now to my new years resolutions of 2012, and I come away knowing that I accomplished most of them in some form. They may have been done indirectly, but they are all a success:
1) Get a job. Not a job as such, but I am at Uni, which is a good equivalent for me. I also do Saturdays at the bar, which I do really enjoy.
2) Get my ass back to cheer. I already covered this one! Successful resolution.
3) Conquer this anxiety. I'm not all there yet, but my improvement is phenomenal I feel like I can keep making steps forward.
4) Get a girlfriend. Complicated one. Even I'm not sure where this stands, being right now or the whole rest of the year. My bonds with other people, especially females from my past have changed drastically, and now I'm in a convoluted mess I would very much like to escape from. The underlying concept of this however, although not a success, I consider the bonds I have formed with others to be far more valuable at the moment.
5) Try to be nicer to everyone. Heh, lame right. I think I may have ascended to sainthood though, when a guy who punched me (in my already broken nose no less), I ended up walking him home and giving him a hug. I think I'll make a slightly altered version of this for next year though :)
So yeah, mostly a success. I'd give myself a healthy 4/5 for resolutions, which is a success in my book. Now is the time to look forward, and plan for next year. I want 5 again, but I'm not sure what yet, we'll see what comes out:
1) Fix my health. Fitness! I keep saying it, and while I have lost weight and gotten fitter, I'm still not at the standard that I would like to be, so lets make a regime and stick to it. Hit the gym (When the funding comes through) Sort yourself out!
2) Up your confidence! In a similar vein to my anxiety from last year, I feel confident in myself enough to function, now I need to be confident enough to perform to people that aren't myself!
3) Become more organised, and pass this year. Organisation is by far my biggest flaw in my Uni work. I pledge to have a draft ready 2 weeks before the hand in date, and make sure each piece of work is checked through by the tutors, and submitted BEFORE the deadline day.
4) Continue to form and strengthen bonds. I know, this is commonplace for most people, but for someone like me who finds social interaction hard, this is a big thing. It's not that I don't enjoy social interaction, I'm just not too good at it, and that makes me come across as awkward.
5) Not let myself get overworked and lose myself. I want to do everything I need to to succeed, but I realize after a long 3 months that I also need to find time to myself to game, write, and reply to E-mails more often (sorry Aki-chan <3)
There we go, 5 resolutions. I reckon I can manage them. I'll start the Re:fit blog when my funding comes through and I can actually do things properly, no excuses this time Joe! Anyway thanks for sticking out this far, I know it's been a long one, I wanted to write acknowledgements about all the people in my life this year, but I don't think I'd ever stop writing.
Mum
Dad
Lucy
Adam
Bessie
Emily
Ellie
Sue
Aki-Chan
Jade
Helen
Katie, Lauren, Rosie, Carly and everyone at the Warren
Julie, Sheridan, Maget, Ben, Staci, Joe, Danny, Stocksy, Craig, Leah, Gentah, Beth, Squid, Shannon,
Becca, Imogen, Ruby, Ella, Jessica and any other Redz/DWS that I may have missed.
Chip, Sara, Marc, Richard, Ginger, Maurice, T3, Terry, Tom and the rest of Humberside Wargames society.
Aelius, Aaron, Matt, Doushie, Darthax, Lynora, Elva, Dayle, Eminos, Free, Lich, Ryan, and the rest of UE
Tom, Jade, Nommy, Bannah, Shaun, Ben, Samba, Jess, Sarah, Abbie, Amy, Stuart, Jack, Eli, Jesus, Mikey, and everyone else on the Musical Theater course.
Kerrie, Brian, Val, Mark, Sue, Jez and Becky, our tutors
And everyone else who has made an impact on my life this year.
Thank you all for being the most amazing people. I feel honoured to be friends with you.
Have a great 2013 everyone,
Kex
For those of you who only met me this year, these words will still not be enough to show you the change I have undergone. I was broken and lost, unsure of my future, and I almost didn't care. I was waiting on my counselling to try and build myself back up, but I never ended up going. What pulled me back from the brink were the friends I made, and ultimately, singing.
As my confidence was building, I found my way to the FDMT carribiean night. Realizing that I actually knew a lot of people there (mainly ex-cheerleaders and NAPA students), I asked about the course, finally deciding that I wanted to go for it. I did my whole application that night, whilst drunk. And though there was a fair wait, I finally got my audition, and was accepted, which gave my confidence a much needed boost.
For the rest of the summer, my thoughts were on knuckling down and making myself well enough to go to Uni. During this time, someone hurt me, and I in turn hurt someone else. That's my largest regret of the year. I could say I'm sorry, but they are simply spoken words. Even so, I am indeed sorry for my actions.
By the summer, I had recovered enough of myself to go back to cheer again. I honestly have no greater love for anything than that that I have for my sport, and going back was just the best feeling in the world, even if, within a week, my nose suffered a nice clean break. I expected a broken bone to hurt more, really. Since then, we've gone away on 2 weekends, with our victory at IDTA being one of my highlights of this year.
With my vocal lessons at the Warren came the voice project, I hinted a lot at a Glee group, and this was a close second for me. I've always loved group and duet singing probably more than I do solo. Because of the Voice, I made new friends. The best part about being at the Warren is the fact that noone will judge you. I could be nothing but myself there, and still be accepted by all my friends.
Quicker than expected, September rolled around, and my life at Uni began. This was my testament to all the progress I had made, and all the people who have helped me make it. I had expected a lot of hard work, but I never expected to learn as much as I did in such a short time. I went in still unsure about myself, but the people around me helped me keep myself together.
Everyone in my class is amazing. No, literally every single person. There have been ups and downs between us all, but ultimately, I love every one of them. We came together as a class and put on our Revue show, which was a huge success, coming down to the fact of the talent of everyone involved, and the help of everyone involved in the production who dragged us along and pulled this show out of us.
I look back now to my new years resolutions of 2012, and I come away knowing that I accomplished most of them in some form. They may have been done indirectly, but they are all a success:
1) Get a job. Not a job as such, but I am at Uni, which is a good equivalent for me. I also do Saturdays at the bar, which I do really enjoy.
2) Get my ass back to cheer. I already covered this one! Successful resolution.
3) Conquer this anxiety. I'm not all there yet, but my improvement is phenomenal I feel like I can keep making steps forward.
4) Get a girlfriend. Complicated one. Even I'm not sure where this stands, being right now or the whole rest of the year. My bonds with other people, especially females from my past have changed drastically, and now I'm in a convoluted mess I would very much like to escape from. The underlying concept of this however, although not a success, I consider the bonds I have formed with others to be far more valuable at the moment.
5) Try to be nicer to everyone. Heh, lame right. I think I may have ascended to sainthood though, when a guy who punched me (in my already broken nose no less), I ended up walking him home and giving him a hug. I think I'll make a slightly altered version of this for next year though :)
So yeah, mostly a success. I'd give myself a healthy 4/5 for resolutions, which is a success in my book. Now is the time to look forward, and plan for next year. I want 5 again, but I'm not sure what yet, we'll see what comes out:
1) Fix my health. Fitness! I keep saying it, and while I have lost weight and gotten fitter, I'm still not at the standard that I would like to be, so lets make a regime and stick to it. Hit the gym (When the funding comes through) Sort yourself out!
2) Up your confidence! In a similar vein to my anxiety from last year, I feel confident in myself enough to function, now I need to be confident enough to perform to people that aren't myself!
3) Become more organised, and pass this year. Organisation is by far my biggest flaw in my Uni work. I pledge to have a draft ready 2 weeks before the hand in date, and make sure each piece of work is checked through by the tutors, and submitted BEFORE the deadline day.
4) Continue to form and strengthen bonds. I know, this is commonplace for most people, but for someone like me who finds social interaction hard, this is a big thing. It's not that I don't enjoy social interaction, I'm just not too good at it, and that makes me come across as awkward.
5) Not let myself get overworked and lose myself. I want to do everything I need to to succeed, but I realize after a long 3 months that I also need to find time to myself to game, write, and reply to E-mails more often (sorry Aki-chan <3)
There we go, 5 resolutions. I reckon I can manage them. I'll start the Re:fit blog when my funding comes through and I can actually do things properly, no excuses this time Joe! Anyway thanks for sticking out this far, I know it's been a long one, I wanted to write acknowledgements about all the people in my life this year, but I don't think I'd ever stop writing.
Mum
Dad
Lucy
Adam
Bessie
Emily
Ellie
Sue
Aki-Chan
Jade
Helen
Katie, Lauren, Rosie, Carly and everyone at the Warren
Julie, Sheridan, Maget, Ben, Staci, Joe, Danny, Stocksy, Craig, Leah, Gentah, Beth, Squid, Shannon,
Becca, Imogen, Ruby, Ella, Jessica and any other Redz/DWS that I may have missed.
Chip, Sara, Marc, Richard, Ginger, Maurice, T3, Terry, Tom and the rest of Humberside Wargames society.
Aelius, Aaron, Matt, Doushie, Darthax, Lynora, Elva, Dayle, Eminos, Free, Lich, Ryan, and the rest of UE
Tom, Jade, Nommy, Bannah, Shaun, Ben, Samba, Jess, Sarah, Abbie, Amy, Stuart, Jack, Eli, Jesus, Mikey, and everyone else on the Musical Theater course.
Kerrie, Brian, Val, Mark, Sue, Jez and Becky, our tutors
And everyone else who has made an impact on my life this year.
Thank you all for being the most amazing people. I feel honoured to be friends with you.
Have a great 2013 everyone,
Kex
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Inspire
It's nice to finally be inspired to write again without a surge of depression or anger fueling my words. I finally feel like my feet have returned to their rightful place beneath my legs, no longer free-falling onto a path of life that I wasn't sure I wanted.
Tonight I went and watched my first live musical. I know, terrible right. I'm on a musical theater course without ever seeing a live musical. I love to sing, and I love to dance, and this was the best way to combine them. But now. I've seen what I want to do, what I want to be. I've wanted to teach for as long as I can remember, and that dream is still in the works, but if I can get out there and take my shot, then why the hell not.
I want to be a star.
I know it's hard. I know its a rocky path. I know so many people go into this business with more experience and everything than me. But I know that if I give it everything I have, I can be as good or better than everyone else. I want to take my shot, to be the one inspiring others like I was tonight.
So for 3 years, I'm going to give it everything I have. I'm going to get the solos, I'm going to be the one who makes the dream.
Just you try and stop me.
Kex
Tonight I went and watched my first live musical. I know, terrible right. I'm on a musical theater course without ever seeing a live musical. I love to sing, and I love to dance, and this was the best way to combine them. But now. I've seen what I want to do, what I want to be. I've wanted to teach for as long as I can remember, and that dream is still in the works, but if I can get out there and take my shot, then why the hell not.
I want to be a star.
I know it's hard. I know its a rocky path. I know so many people go into this business with more experience and everything than me. But I know that if I give it everything I have, I can be as good or better than everyone else. I want to take my shot, to be the one inspiring others like I was tonight.
So for 3 years, I'm going to give it everything I have. I'm going to get the solos, I'm going to be the one who makes the dream.
Just you try and stop me.
Kex
Thursday, 4 October 2012
Take me as I am.
I'm Kexys. But you probably know me by a different name. I know some of you reading this know me in real life, and others know me as an online avatar and voice. To some of you I may be even a distant memory. But I have deceived all of you. You see only a mask, a character I wear so that I can face the day.
I try to be a good person, and for the most part, I hope I am. But I lie, and I cheat to further my causes or my relationships with people. I don't do anything serious, but within reason, I'll do whatever it takes to further myself. I dislike many things and have too many phobias about silly things. Lifts, heights, tumbling, but I think mainly it stems from being terrified of not being in control of myself, and by extension, my life. My biggest fear, however is abandonment. I constantly feel alone, no matter how many people I surround myself with.
I've always been an outcast, a geek and whatever other names you choose to call me, in every circle I'm in, there's something about me that throws people off. Because I choose to play trading card games and MMOs, I get segregated when I'm cheerleading or even within normal social circles. When I'm playing those games, I'm ripped on because I like to sing and dance, no matter where I go, I can't win.
But that's not why I'm here. Everyone knows these things about me anyway.
Too long ago, I was different to how I am now. I was confident, I was witty and just generally good to be around. I had everything I wanted. I lived with good friends in a good arrangement, I had a job that I was earning enough to live off. Days were long and fun. Then the first tremor shook, and I split with the girl I loved. I became tired of cheer after having so long without time off, so I took a break, meaning to go back. Then the Labyrinthitis struck, and for the next three months I couldn't do anything, not even stand up for elongated periods. Because of this time, I lost my job and all my savings paying bill and rent. By the time I was better, I'd put on several stone and had lost almost everything else. I thought things looked up, when I almost got back in a relationship with her, but I came to find out she had cheated on me with my best friend, and that broke me.
It took 6 months for the symptoms to escalate, but through various states of sleeplessness and anxiety, I realized I had been hit hard by depression. My new housemate didn't help at all, being a general cunt and causing stress with him not paying his bills. My "medication" just made me feel like a zombie, so I took myself off it and just wallowed for the next year. It wasn't until the following November (I was diagnosed in december) That I actually went for counselling and though I only had one session, I met a friend there. The first new friend I'd had in a year and a half. I'd forgotten what it was like to be around people, but to feel liked again was wonderful, and my first step to recovery.
Since then, I've recovered slightly. Enough to pass off as functioning in society. But still, going out in a morning terrifies me. The normal social interaction that everyone else finds so easy, I find difficult to emulate so I come across as unsocial, which I don't mean to at all. I love people, and being around others makes me happy, I just.. forgot how to do it. So I'm sorry if I'm not like you, but I try, and if you let me, I'll be a good friend to have.
I may not be deep in depression any more, but I still feel it's tremors. My social anxiety still runs strong, even if I can wear a mask over it. But please, don't pity me. Don't treat me different to anyone else, I don't want anything special, I just want to be treat like everyone else, treat like a person, and not a mental illness. Sometimes, all it takes is a little kindness, and maybe a friendly hug, and everything becomes better.
This is me, laid bare before you, exposing my weaknesses. Take from it what you will, but I hope you understand me a little more.
I try to be a good person, and for the most part, I hope I am. But I lie, and I cheat to further my causes or my relationships with people. I don't do anything serious, but within reason, I'll do whatever it takes to further myself. I dislike many things and have too many phobias about silly things. Lifts, heights, tumbling, but I think mainly it stems from being terrified of not being in control of myself, and by extension, my life. My biggest fear, however is abandonment. I constantly feel alone, no matter how many people I surround myself with.
I've always been an outcast, a geek and whatever other names you choose to call me, in every circle I'm in, there's something about me that throws people off. Because I choose to play trading card games and MMOs, I get segregated when I'm cheerleading or even within normal social circles. When I'm playing those games, I'm ripped on because I like to sing and dance, no matter where I go, I can't win.
But that's not why I'm here. Everyone knows these things about me anyway.
Too long ago, I was different to how I am now. I was confident, I was witty and just generally good to be around. I had everything I wanted. I lived with good friends in a good arrangement, I had a job that I was earning enough to live off. Days were long and fun. Then the first tremor shook, and I split with the girl I loved. I became tired of cheer after having so long without time off, so I took a break, meaning to go back. Then the Labyrinthitis struck, and for the next three months I couldn't do anything, not even stand up for elongated periods. Because of this time, I lost my job and all my savings paying bill and rent. By the time I was better, I'd put on several stone and had lost almost everything else. I thought things looked up, when I almost got back in a relationship with her, but I came to find out she had cheated on me with my best friend, and that broke me.
It took 6 months for the symptoms to escalate, but through various states of sleeplessness and anxiety, I realized I had been hit hard by depression. My new housemate didn't help at all, being a general cunt and causing stress with him not paying his bills. My "medication" just made me feel like a zombie, so I took myself off it and just wallowed for the next year. It wasn't until the following November (I was diagnosed in december) That I actually went for counselling and though I only had one session, I met a friend there. The first new friend I'd had in a year and a half. I'd forgotten what it was like to be around people, but to feel liked again was wonderful, and my first step to recovery.
Since then, I've recovered slightly. Enough to pass off as functioning in society. But still, going out in a morning terrifies me. The normal social interaction that everyone else finds so easy, I find difficult to emulate so I come across as unsocial, which I don't mean to at all. I love people, and being around others makes me happy, I just.. forgot how to do it. So I'm sorry if I'm not like you, but I try, and if you let me, I'll be a good friend to have.
I may not be deep in depression any more, but I still feel it's tremors. My social anxiety still runs strong, even if I can wear a mask over it. But please, don't pity me. Don't treat me different to anyone else, I don't want anything special, I just want to be treat like everyone else, treat like a person, and not a mental illness. Sometimes, all it takes is a little kindness, and maybe a friendly hug, and everything becomes better.
This is me, laid bare before you, exposing my weaknesses. Take from it what you will, but I hope you understand me a little more.
Sunday, 20 May 2012
Vivid
Another vivid dream happened to me last night. If it wasn't for the dog waking me up, I don't know how it would have ended.
I don't remember exactly how it started, but I was being hunted by demons, who wanted me dead. They had taken the form of people I knew and were constantly hunting me. I found out who they were and I eventually tried to compromise with them. They took me to "Hell" (Which looked surprisingly like a holiday resort) and tried to make me sign an agreement to become a demon. After reading the small print, and adding in some terms of my own, I met the demon king. He claimed that he was happy I compromised, based on my "Track record". I had apparently escaped from Hell before, when my body went through a near death experience (which is why I was being hunted down), and he also showed me my track record, claiming I was responsible for 8724 deaths. It was a chilling experience overall, and the calmness I had through the whole thing disturbs me, it was almost like I didn't care what was going on.
There was another carrot for becoming a demon, however. One of the demons took the form of a girl I know, and I was promised I could be with her if I accepted. I woke right as I had laid my final terms to the King, and was waiting for him to decide on whether a compromise would be met. I would have probably said yes, if they had. It's a scary thought for me, I'm not evil, but I know what I could accomplish if I had power, no matter the source. Do the ends justify the means?
I don't remember exactly how it started, but I was being hunted by demons, who wanted me dead. They had taken the form of people I knew and were constantly hunting me. I found out who they were and I eventually tried to compromise with them. They took me to "Hell" (Which looked surprisingly like a holiday resort) and tried to make me sign an agreement to become a demon. After reading the small print, and adding in some terms of my own, I met the demon king. He claimed that he was happy I compromised, based on my "Track record". I had apparently escaped from Hell before, when my body went through a near death experience (which is why I was being hunted down), and he also showed me my track record, claiming I was responsible for 8724 deaths. It was a chilling experience overall, and the calmness I had through the whole thing disturbs me, it was almost like I didn't care what was going on.
There was another carrot for becoming a demon, however. One of the demons took the form of a girl I know, and I was promised I could be with her if I accepted. I woke right as I had laid my final terms to the King, and was waiting for him to decide on whether a compromise would be met. I would have probably said yes, if they had. It's a scary thought for me, I'm not evil, but I know what I could accomplish if I had power, no matter the source. Do the ends justify the means?
Monday, 14 May 2012
Myself
Tonight, I got punched in the face on the way home by some obviously drunk guy.
I already had a broken nose, him hitting it hurt like hell.
In retaliation, I didn't hit him back. He was upset and drunk, and that isn't a good combination. Instead, I listened to him. He said he'd just had to take his daughter off a life support machine and that she had died.
Then he hugged me. This guy, who had just punched me, was now giving me a hug. I felt pity for the poor man, so I hugged him back. And he apologised, several times actually, and it was obvious that he meant it too. He then wandered off, back into the night, and I gave him my best wishes, because that is the kind of person that I am.
In his state, a few well placed strikes would have had him on the floor. I know that. I also know that he was far too drunk and sluggish to really do anything back to me, even if he got back up.
But violence will not solve your problems. It only besets more strife. I do one day hope to live in a world, where people spread love and tolerance for their fellow human. I don't mean it in a hippie way, but in a way that peoples first reaction to others isn't hate and anger.
That is why I love cheerleading so much. A friend told me about football earlier, about how a team that had just lost, cheered because the team they had lost to didn't win overall anyway. I find that disgusting. In cheerleading, it doesn't matter which squad you're on, they all cheer for you. Even the people you compete against will cheer and clap. What other sport can you find that in?
At the end of the day, it all comes down to respect. If you can respect a fellow human for what they are, you don't have to like them, but mutual respect will turn animosity into rivalry, which is far more productive overall.
Its time to think about your actions people. Spread the love! <3
Kex
I already had a broken nose, him hitting it hurt like hell.
In retaliation, I didn't hit him back. He was upset and drunk, and that isn't a good combination. Instead, I listened to him. He said he'd just had to take his daughter off a life support machine and that she had died.
Then he hugged me. This guy, who had just punched me, was now giving me a hug. I felt pity for the poor man, so I hugged him back. And he apologised, several times actually, and it was obvious that he meant it too. He then wandered off, back into the night, and I gave him my best wishes, because that is the kind of person that I am.
In his state, a few well placed strikes would have had him on the floor. I know that. I also know that he was far too drunk and sluggish to really do anything back to me, even if he got back up.
But violence will not solve your problems. It only besets more strife. I do one day hope to live in a world, where people spread love and tolerance for their fellow human. I don't mean it in a hippie way, but in a way that peoples first reaction to others isn't hate and anger.
That is why I love cheerleading so much. A friend told me about football earlier, about how a team that had just lost, cheered because the team they had lost to didn't win overall anyway. I find that disgusting. In cheerleading, it doesn't matter which squad you're on, they all cheer for you. Even the people you compete against will cheer and clap. What other sport can you find that in?
At the end of the day, it all comes down to respect. If you can respect a fellow human for what they are, you don't have to like them, but mutual respect will turn animosity into rivalry, which is far more productive overall.
Its time to think about your actions people. Spread the love! <3
Kex
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
Update
It really has been far too long since I looked up here. My bad, I guess. I have missed you all though, I have just been really caught up in my life recently, so, I guess y'all deserve an update!
Okay so, lets do this:
Numero Uno! Cheerleading! I went back for a visit and BLAM! Just like that I get to go back. I do love the sport so much. I was really starting to get back into it when WHAM! Stray elbow to the face! It was a total accident, and honestly, I feel worse for the girl that broke my nose than for myself, she was so upset :< But anyways, there is no way that's going to stop me! I'm more than ready to go back now, in every regard.
Numero.. um.. Two! Singing! My voice has really improved itself, I can hear myself better now, and my vocal range is getting stronger! I do so enjoy to sing. Today I found I could sing "Gives you Hell" (Glee cast version) pretty well, and had a lot of fun singing along side some death metal vocals!
Number the third! General social stuffs! So, I'm managing to stay in the bar a lot longer now! Done a couple of full nights and had a blast doing it. I'm going out more. My calendar is actually full! With 4 nights a week cheer suddenly stepping in there and leaving me with not a whole lot of free time. Besides my DS, I don't think I've actually played a game in about 10 days now, which is some kind of a record for me. Althoughhh.. Diablo 3 next week! I can't wait!
Number the next! Roleplaying! Okay, so I'm not doing as much nowadays, because of this and that and stuff, but what I am doing is going great! I enjoy my Mondays and Wednesdays, as River and Lux, Whether it be saving the residents of Sandport from the ultimate evil living below them (River), or causing a drunken disturbance on the Sandport streets (Lux), they are both developing nicely.
So yeah, that's the general stuff update, now onto the finer things.
Got back in contact with my Mum on my birthday, and I now visit on a weekly basis. Its great to see them all again, I get on great with my little sister, Lucy, cos she's such a great kid who shares my sense of humour, even if she is a bit of a chav ;). My little brother, Adam, got into the RAF, so congrats to him, I hope everything works out.
An old friend from college emailed me the other day too! Was kind of out of the blue, but since then, we've been talking a lot, she lives so far away now, but I'm sure we'll meet up again at some point. :) But until then, I hope for continued correspondence via mail!
So yeah, the general moral of the story, is that everything is going far better than expected. I'm loving life at the moment. A little anxious from time to time, but I'm managing it now. Also, I'm still waiting on a reply for my degree course, which is holding me in suspense a little. And I am a little worried about going to have my nose re-broken and put back into position. Yuk! But besides that, everything is great!
Anyhow, that's a whole lotta text, and I've got a whole lotta other things I could be doing! Love y'all!
Kex <3
Okay so, lets do this:
Numero Uno! Cheerleading! I went back for a visit and BLAM! Just like that I get to go back. I do love the sport so much. I was really starting to get back into it when WHAM! Stray elbow to the face! It was a total accident, and honestly, I feel worse for the girl that broke my nose than for myself, she was so upset :< But anyways, there is no way that's going to stop me! I'm more than ready to go back now, in every regard.
Numero.. um.. Two! Singing! My voice has really improved itself, I can hear myself better now, and my vocal range is getting stronger! I do so enjoy to sing. Today I found I could sing "Gives you Hell" (Glee cast version) pretty well, and had a lot of fun singing along side some death metal vocals!
Number the third! General social stuffs! So, I'm managing to stay in the bar a lot longer now! Done a couple of full nights and had a blast doing it. I'm going out more. My calendar is actually full! With 4 nights a week cheer suddenly stepping in there and leaving me with not a whole lot of free time. Besides my DS, I don't think I've actually played a game in about 10 days now, which is some kind of a record for me. Althoughhh.. Diablo 3 next week! I can't wait!
Number the next! Roleplaying! Okay, so I'm not doing as much nowadays, because of this and that and stuff, but what I am doing is going great! I enjoy my Mondays and Wednesdays, as River and Lux, Whether it be saving the residents of Sandport from the ultimate evil living below them (River), or causing a drunken disturbance on the Sandport streets (Lux), they are both developing nicely.
So yeah, that's the general stuff update, now onto the finer things.
Got back in contact with my Mum on my birthday, and I now visit on a weekly basis. Its great to see them all again, I get on great with my little sister, Lucy, cos she's such a great kid who shares my sense of humour, even if she is a bit of a chav ;). My little brother, Adam, got into the RAF, so congrats to him, I hope everything works out.
An old friend from college emailed me the other day too! Was kind of out of the blue, but since then, we've been talking a lot, she lives so far away now, but I'm sure we'll meet up again at some point. :) But until then, I hope for continued correspondence via mail!
So yeah, the general moral of the story, is that everything is going far better than expected. I'm loving life at the moment. A little anxious from time to time, but I'm managing it now. Also, I'm still waiting on a reply for my degree course, which is holding me in suspense a little. And I am a little worried about going to have my nose re-broken and put back into position. Yuk! But besides that, everything is great!
Anyhow, that's a whole lotta text, and I've got a whole lotta other things I could be doing! Love y'all!
Kex <3
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